Humbled

I cannot believe it is already APRIL!  Time just goes so fast.
I'll preface this by saying this isn't one of my usual "blogs" but more of the "inner thoughts" from my head... read along if you wish :)
I guess it began in church this past Sunday, when I burst out into tears while singing along to this song at Ridgecrest...

Revelation Song - Kari Jobe

that I realized what all God has blessed me with this past year.  I had my own most humbling moment, which literally brought me to my knees and I felt as if I should shout out... Thank you, God. THANK YOU!!! YOU ARE AMAZING.

When I look back over the past year, I become so humbled, my eyes again fill with tears as I write this.  Not because I am sad, but because I am just so aware of how much I take forgranted each day.  We have a God that loves us SO much... he DIED for us.  Yet, each day I live as if it was expected, as if I choose what happens day to day, and I make the decisions.  That is not it my friends.  We are here to serve, here to lead others to Him, and here to LOVE.
  Last year was such a "on bended knee" year...  from the HIGH of marrying my best friend and true love of my life, Colby in April ... to the almost immediate lowest point of my life.. almost loosing my mother to pneumonia.
I don't think words truly can express the feelings I went through. Doubt. Anger. Fear. Jealousy.
Doubt that God was taking care of us, Anger that this had happened to her, Fear that I would loose her, and Jealous that Colby and I's honeymoon was ripped out from under our feet the moment we landed back in Jackson.  Now that I reflect on those feelings.. how selfish.
Colby and I returned from our honeymoon to my mother being admitted into ICU, intubated in an induced coma. WHAT had happened while I was so blissfully in love down in Mexico?! My life had fallen apart here in Madison? No. God. No. Surely you didn't do this to us.  Oh but He did, and he knew exactly why He did it.  He made us climb the mountains, He made me face my biggest fear (being without my mom), and now, after surviving it all..  I can finally smile as part of His amazing plan had been revealed to me, because surely He isn't done with me yet.

Colby and I began our marriage, on our knees, bent in prayer for HOURS of our day, praying, talking, discussing all of our fears with HIM.  Our amazing, precious, wonderful Father God.  Wow.
Not only that but I now had an amazingly supportive husband to guide me through my tears and "outrage" during the many 76 days we spent at UMC hospital, and Methodist Rehab.  My family became so much closer.. I know.. we are the "Brady Bunch" of families anyways, but what we became ... is unbreakable.
God saved our Mom.. took her lupus into remission, brought her health back to better than it was before... speechless describes what I feel when I think about all God has blessed my family with.  My mom is radiant, beautiful, and surely one of God's most wonderful angels here on earth.  I am SO grateful, thankful, humbled to be able to share each day with her still. Every phone call, every hug, every smile.. everything.  It isn't taken forgranted anymore.. it is treasured.
 And now... His unfailing love for me and His plan for my life reveals that what we went through was even greater than all of the sickness and triumph... His plans include me becoming a mom. He knew I needed to be weakened, only so that I would know how to love in the purest form, how to treasure each breath of the ones I love... I know Lucy will have the best mom ever, simply because I learned from the best myself. (and thankfully still get to learn from her EVERY day!!)

Thank you Lord, for the challenges you give us in our daily lives.  I know that we are always unaware of your plan but I praise you for giving us the strength we didn't know we had in us.  You only give us things that you know we really can handle... even though we are selfish, doubtful, and full of sin.. you love us always.  I thank you for all things that you have made, for loving me when I am unloveable, and for your healing power and grace.  For the things that we do not yet understand, let us have patience, strength and faith.  You are the only Wise King.  Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come.  With all creation I sing, praise to the King of Kings.  You are my everything and I will adore you.

To my friends and family, I love you each SO much! I honestly thank our God everytime I think of you.   Thank you for loving me, and for your prayers, your kind words, your advice, the food you prepared, all of it during my mother's sickness almost a year ago. I know this thank you is a little late, but I assure you that your kindness during that time will forever be remembered, and treasured by my family.

To my momma, (if you have figured out how to log on to my blog, finally) I TREASURE every second we spend together. I am so glad that Colby and I only live 3.2 miles away... :) Thank you for teaching me about God, and for always displaying such an incredible faith.  You are such an incredible, strong, BEAUTIFUL woman and my very best friend... I love you.


   Love you all!!
~Love~ Kris (and Lucy!)