So I'm laying here tonight, my yorki poo Jax curled up next to me, my husband is in Memphis for a business meeting bright and early in the morning... And do you know what my thought is!? "I cannot believe I'm really pregnant". Ha! a little late for this revelation, yes, I agree.
I, at any time, on any day, will become a mommy to a beautiful girl. What an amazing gift from our Lord and Savior! This last week I feel that I have been one of those "negative" thinkers, making comments like... "I'm so ready" " this is no fun anymore" "my body hurts" etc... And tonight as I lay here... I almost don't want the "pregnancy" part to end! Crazy, I know! But let me walk you through my thoughts... Right now, Lucy is safe, sound, comfy, content, healthy and perfect... Inside of me. When will I ever get this sense of security over her again? Yes, I do worry if it has been 30 minites or more she hasn't kicked me or nudged me with her elbow, but all I have to do is drink ice cold water and sit down for a moment.. And she's back. Reassuring me that she's okay! I dont think its going to be that easy to reassure me or her Daddy that she's okay when she has her first scraped knee, or goes on her first date..eeek!
On the other hand, I just cannot wait to meet our baby. I am ready for her to be here, right here next to me, safe and sound WITH her family. I keep telling myself that worrying about her is not going to be anything new, I have already worried about her since the day we found out we were expecting! I cannot wait to watch her expressions and play the "she gets that from daddy" and "that was a mommy face" etc. Mommy has big dreams and plans for you, Lucy. I have already purchased the most precious of precious "photography props" for her first photo shoot! Ha!
My new goal for the remainder of my pregnancy with Lucy is to keep the "treasure every second" mentality that I have had throughout this journey. I love carrying our child, our gift from God. Even though I'm a bit more uncomfortable, have a baby girl that has so far refused to turn head down and we don't have any idea when she will come... Or if I will have to have a section,etc. I am going to continue to rejoice and love every second that we have left of this journey! After all, I will never get this experience with Lucy again! My precious daughter!
We go to the doctor tomorrow at 3:00 for our big sonogram/decision by my doctor on Lucy's birth plan! If she hasn't turned, he will weigh our options, look into flipping her, etc. I'm really praying the c-section option goes out the window BUT I do know this delivery is a part of God's plan, and His plan is ALWAYS good. He is with us and will guide my doctor, Colby, Lucy and I through this... In the most perfect of ways!
Please keep us in your prayers, and I will post an update tomorrow! Much love!
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When I was 36 weeks with Jennifer I decided (at age 19), NOPE I Have changed my mind. I told my Mama I just think I will stay pregnant forever. She laughed and said well sorry honey, but it ain't happening. Well 5 children later I guess I DID change my mind. I am glad Lucy turned and you will be on the highest high you will ever have when she is born.
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